That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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