I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize