You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
