Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
