so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He better not be in your backpack
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
