My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
