its not stalking. its research.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
