our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize