I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
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I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"