We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
