Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction