Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.