I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler