Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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