i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it's like iHOP with fire
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize