im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize