OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
These tits shall not be calmed
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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