you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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