in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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