The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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