i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
