I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
