wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
