There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
