fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad