Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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