Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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