The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
