is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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