What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
