I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't turn off my feet"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize