I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
