she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
sex in a hospital.. check
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
