you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
