i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm getting married
To pizza
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
