I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
