I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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