His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
