Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I would fuck him just for his dog
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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