I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
