He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We got so high we made milksteak
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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