You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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