So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
