i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
