We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
