If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
