:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
