Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
