Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
did you just send me my own nude
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
