did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
