I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
