Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
