it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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