What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
