On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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