I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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