your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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