I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
