I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
