Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
