It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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