im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I still have a little drunk in my system
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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