it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
