On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
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in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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